Family of three

There was a young man holding a baby just a few weeks old, and right opposite him a young woman, clearly the mother. The three of them were interacting so beautifully

Here’s a short story from a morning recently, here in Cirencester where I live. It involves the very briefest of interactions between me, a young man, a young woman, and their baby. Maybe we can learn several things from what happened, useful lessons about life, about ourselves, about politics, and about the nature of Love itself.

Three hands – father, mother and baby (Wikimedia)

I sat in Coffee#1 in Cirencester enjoying a white Americano, I’d walked into town and had a heavy load of shopping in my rucksack to take back home, a range of fruit from the market stall in the beautiful old Market Place, and a loaf of fresh bread from a traditional bakery. I fancied a break before setting off for home.

I put down the weighty rucksack and my hat on a chair at a vacant table, ordered the coffee and waited while it was prepared, then returned to the table, put in my earbuds, and caught up with some of the news following the previous night’s exciting General Election. While I was watching and listening, I couldn’t help noticing the people at the next table. There was a young man holding a baby just a few weeks old, and right opposite him a young woman, clearly the mother. The three of them were interacting so beautifully, the parents obviously very fond of one another and completely relaxed, the baby equally happy to be held by either of them, and both the adults alert to the needs of the little one. It was a triangle of love and of trust, a happy and peaceful grouping.

They were still there when I got up to leave and I had to pass their table to reach the door. I put on my rucksack and hat, stopped briefly at their table and said, ‘I just have to say that you three are such a lovely little family, and I want to wish you the very best going forward’. I received two huge smiles and headed out through the door to the street. As I passed the shop window, they were still beaming and the young man and I waved to one another, both smiling.

Why am I sharing this little story? Because it seemed notable to me. How many young families are there with difficulties and troubles? All of them! We all have problems during our lives, the important thing is not whether we have them, but how we will handle them. The threesome at Coffee#1 will likely grow to four (maybe more) but it seems to me that they’ll deal with any difficulty wisely and lovingly and will come through any troubles stronger than before. Love is such a powerful thing. There’s a lesson there for everyone.

Go through life pouring out love towards those you meet along the way, and you’ll fare better than if you approach life asking, ‘What can I get out of it? How can I profit? How can I become wealthier or more successful? How can I benefit by ignoring the needs of others?

This is not irrelevant to the politics of our day. For some time there has been a rather nasty drift towards selfish, arrogant, pushy, self-serving, uncaring attitudes from some quarters. It’s not too hard to find examples of this approach in Britain or America with some disturbing and growing trends towards noisy, yet empty politics. The old adage remains true, ‘Empty vessels make the most noise’. In Britain, the Labour victory may work to quell this for the next four or five years, and hopefully the electorate will appreciate the change and clearly understand the dangers, and not support parties or politicians that behave like that.

We now have a chance for more well-considered sanity in our politics, and less mis- and dis-information, or so I fervently hope. We need debate that is less like the destructive accusations and anger inevitable in broken families, and more like the love and gentleness and hope for the future of that young family in Coffee#1.

I like what Paul wrote about love in 1 Corinthians 13, here’s an extract:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Such love was abundantly present in those parents in Coffee#1. They clearly cared for one another, and they trusted one another completely in caring for the little one. Babies are vulnerable and helpless, it takes parental love to keep them safe and to guide them well as they grow. And the examples provided by two good parents will give a child the best possible chance to develop the same sort of love themselves as they grow and mature.

Paul, as he wrote about love, was thinking of the love of the Creator King acting as Parent, Offspring and life-giving Breath, showing love and care for us all; and the love that we have for one another, for the world, and even for our enemies as we do our best to follow his lead. Paul expresses this clearly, but he was also thinking about the nature and attributes of love itself.

The Victorian teacher and writer, Henry Drummond, had some wonderfiul perspectives on John’s words to the believers in Corinth; he, too, draws out deep truths about love.

See also:

Henry Drummond’s essay on love – Journeys of heart and mind

Useful? Interesting?

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What is the greatest priority?

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity.

We consider priorities expressed by three church personalities and ask, ‘What is the most important objective for the church? What will most please Papa? What is the Spirit urging? How does Jesus want us to respond?’

A polychotomy?
Shattered glass

We are being tugged in many directions in our lives as believers, we have become a polychotomy. The word literally means ‘many cut apart’. The church looks like shattered glass; oneness turned into shards. There are voices telling us to believe the right things, say the right things, do the right things. Let’s take a look at some of them and ask ourselves the question, ‘What is the greatest priority?’

An article by Sam Hailes (no longer available) started me thinking about this. Sam interviewed Peter Farmer from Nottingham, Tony Goddard from Peterborough, and Beresford Job from Chigwell. These three men have different ideas on the main priority – mission and multiplication (Peter), making an impact and caring (Tony), following Biblical principles (Beresford). If we cast the net wider we will find many more groups with other insights and emphases. Every denomination and group has its own ideas about what is most important.

So who is right?

To answer this question we need to turn to the Bible. But where should we look?

Guidance from the Source

I suggest that the most important and fundamental guidance will come from carefully hearing what Jesus said. In particular, his prayer just before his arrest must be the best of all sources for what is essential.

Think about it for a moment. Yahshua knows that his whole life has brought him to this place of sacrifice. The burden upon him is enormous, his heart is heavy and he cries out to the Father. Surely what he asks at this moment will be the most important thing of all. So what does he say?

In John 17; Yahshua prays for his disciples, and there is much here that we need to take on board. But then he prays explicitly for you and me. And this is what he asks. Read it carefully – this is Jesus praying for you!

My prayer is not for [my disciples] alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. ‘Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them. (John 17:20-26)

He wants us to be one, united, not split apart. The Messiah himself prays to the Father that we may be one ‘just as you are in me and I am in you’. He wants us all to be ‘in us’ (the Father and the Son) so that the world may believe the Father has sent the Son.

More than that, Jesus has given us (you and me) the glory that the Father gave him. What?! Read that again. He’s given you and me his glory! Why? So that we may be one. Then the world will know.

And he prays that we may be where he is and see his glory.

There’s just no escaping this fundamental truth, that when the chips are down Jesus prays his heart out to his Father and asks that we may be one so that the world may believe.

What is the most striking thing about the church in our day? What does the world see when it looks at church? It sees multiple organisations, church is divided into myriad groups and denominations, often seeming to point to different things as being the most important. We are a broken, shattered people and the heart of Christ is broken when he sees us in this state. His heart is for us to be one just as he and the Father are one. And he wants to include us in their oneness and community.

Peter Farmer is not wrong about mutiplication and mission. Tony Goddard is not wrong about making an impact and caring for people. And Beresford Job is not wrong about following Biblical principles. But those are not the main things.

Becoming and remaining one

Above all, we now need to learn to be one. We need to accept we have differences, learn from one another. There is no single right belief, right speech, or right action. His children all shine with the light of his presence. If we are to be part of the answer to his prayer we need to learn from one another and grow together in love, building one another up, encouraging one another, helping one another to focus on every good thing. We need to grow up into Christ. Paul understood this well, see what he wrote to the Ephesian church.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Ephesians 4:1-6 and 11:16)

I am not suggesting that anyone is wrong, or that some are more right than others. I am simply observing that we remain shattered and that we are not yet perfectly formed into the one bride for whom Christ died and will return. Let us all strive to forge fresh bonds of peace. Paul called the Ephesians to keep the unity of the Spirit. Today we need to do more than that, we need to regain the unity of the Spirit.

Addendum

The above is a repost, only slightly changed, of an article I wrote way back in 2012. After 12 years, I think it’s worth repeating. If church has any purpose, any value, it springs from Jesus’ prayer for you and for me. Will I let him place the little fragment that I am into a shared oneness with my brothers and sisters? Will you? Last night I was privileged to be part of a Small Group meeting with friends in one of our homes – and this oneness, and sharing, and presence of the Spirit of Christ, and care for one another and the wider world was tangible amongst us. That is so refreshing, so encouraging, so good!

Season’s Greetings 2023

Look at the world around you and you will see pain, loss, discouragement, guilt, and hard struggles for survival. But look at the world from just the right angle and you will see altogether better things.

I have something a little different for you this year. The photo shows a reflected image of Cirencester Parish Church in a puddle of water in Gosditch Street. What can this photo say to us?

What’s in a puddle?

More and more, the UK is a rich mix of people from many cultural backgrounds. That’s why the title is not ‘Christmas Greetings’. Please accept the greetings and replace the word ‘Season’ with whatever you like. If you’re Hindu you could choose Diwali as a reminder of your celebrations in November, or Jewish friends might go with Hannukah in December, if you’re Muslim you might look forward to Lailat al Miraj in February; Buddhists might consider Bodhi Day, and there are more groups of people I haven’t mentioned specifically. But whatever you celebrate, please take my greetings as a blessing for the whole of next year – spring, summer, autumn and winter.

I’d also like to bless you with a few thoughts about the picture. What, indeed, is in a puddle?

Look at the same puddle from any other angle and you would see dirty water; perhaps some litter; bits of road grit; a rather grubby, yellow ‘no parking’ line; and the general detritus of everyday life. But look at it from just the right angle and you see a reflected image, in this case an image of beautiful mediaeval architecture, detailed fine carving in stone, and the leaves of a living tree.

Look at the world around you and you will see pain, loss, discouragement, guilt, and hard struggles for survival. But look at the world from just the right angle and you will see altogether better things. Love for family, friends, and neighbours, beauty in nature and in people’s hearts and actions, joy, discovery, encouragement, peace, and thriving life. As a follower of Jesus (Yahshua, Isa), when I look at him in the right way I see a reflection of the Creator, the Source and Power behind this amazing universe.

Reflections in puddles also have another effect – they turn everything upside down. Jesus did that too: he confronted people with truth, he pointed out false motives, uncaring behaviour by the wealthy, blame-shifting, and striving for power or approval. People don’t like that, truth is often inconvenient.

Who should we think of this winter? Who can we help in some practical way? It might be someone in the road where we live, or the place where we work. In the world at large let’s remember the people in Ukraine, Gaza, and other places where there are struggles and loss of life (it’s not hard to think of more).

So my message this winter is that we should all help those around us. Talk with lonely people, provide some dried or canned food to your local food bank, donate warm clothes you no longer need, perhaps to a charity shop. If you can afford a gift of money, choose a charity that will use your donation wisely and effectively. And reach out more widely too, perhaps on the internet; send a message of encouragement or a gift to someone.

So whoever you are, whatever faith you have (or none), I hope 2024 will be a year to look forward to. As this year closes and the new one arrives, my hope, wish, and prayer for you is that grace and blessing will fill your life in ways hoped for and ways unexpected.

Let’s all be grateful for what we have, and display compassion and love towards those who need it. In that way, blessing will have a chance to touch you, and through you, touch others as well.

PS – If you like the puddle photo, click it for the full size version. Print it out, put it in a frame and hang it on the wall. Give a copy to friends if you think they’d like it; or send them a link to this message.

Other years

2025, 2024, 2023202220212020
2019201820172016

‘Greatest thing’ republished – INDEX

The analysis excited me, Henry Drummond confirmed what I already knew to be true – this new life in Christ is all about love.

(See indexes on other topics)

Here’s a modern English version of Henry Drummond’s ‘The Greatest Thing in the World’. His wonderful essay on love was originally created in 1884, and it analyses Paul’s famous chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians. Well worth a read!

Read it online or download it
  • The modern English version is available to read or download online (a couple of the links in the PDF no longer work, I’ll correct them when I can).
  • The Victorian original is also available.
  • Many printed versions are available too, take your pick.
Article series

You might enjoy this series of short articles in which I examined Henry Drummond’s essay in more detail.

Why create a new version?

Why have I gone to the trouble of translating this essay into modern English? Basically, because it deserves a wider audience. Years ago The Greatest Thing was often reprinted as a booklet and was very popular. I remember buying a copy in Wesley Owen’s on Park Street in Bristol back in the 1970s when the language was still less than 100 years out of date. It was a great read and it helped to change my life. The analysis excited me, Henry Drummond confirmed what I already knew to be true – this new life in Christ is all about love. At the same time the little book challenged me and drew me on.

This great essay is no longer widely known or read. It deserves better. It will speak to readers today just as it always did. Read it!

Acknowledgements

And finally, I just want to thank the family members and friends who read my early drafts and made helpful suggestions, pointed out errors, or were just encouraging. You know who you are.

Licencing

Copyright in the original has expired while the new version comes with a Creative Commons licence. So please feel free to print or republish either version and distribute it as widely as you like.

See also:

Blast from the past… 2

In January 2013 there was a hard frost in St Neots

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Here’s another blast from the past. What can we find as we look through earlier January posts?

Five years ago

In January 2018 I wrote about eating together and how the early church had no ceremony like our communion service. And I quoted from Victor Choudherie who urges us to ‘promote breaking of bread with simple Agape meals (love feasts) from house to house, that believers take with glad hearts’.

Eating together

Read the old post – Eat together

Ten years ago

In January 2013 there was a hard frost in St Neots where I lived at the time. Within four days, the ice and snow had gone and early hints of the coming spring had appeared. How fast things can change!

Read the old post – Icy pond in St Neots – IMAGE

Twenty years ago

In January 2003 I described the essence of a meeting at my home in which we were reminded that we are just to love, not to manipulate.

Read the old post – Eaton Ford – Walk with the King

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